Can You Re-Activate A Place That Is Currently Under Review Review of Janet Bloom’s Book Co-Parenting Hell: Raising Healthy Kids With a Narcissistic Ex

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Review of Janet Bloom’s Book Co-Parenting Hell: Raising Healthy Kids With a Narcissistic Ex

It is a book written by a mother of children, now divorced from her husband. The book begins with the American Psychiatric Association’s definition of narcissistic personality disorder from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual-Version 5 (DSM-V). The author describes the book based on her experiences but refers to the American Psychiatric Association and the professional writings it cites. The book is presented as a combination memoir and manual for other parents in his situation. She talks about having achieved peace and emotional freedom. Yet a few paragraphs later she refers to “my ex (the bastard)” Hmmm.

The author describes narcissists and their characteristics. She relates most of them to her experience and her observations of her ex-husband’s behavior. It was not clear to me to what extent the narcissistic characteristics she refers to relate to professional writings or strictly to her own experience of her ex-husband.

The author describes narcissistic traits related to DSM-V criteria related to professional writings and his own experience. She talks about her experiences and observations in a familiar way that I found easy to follow and understand.

She discusses the early family influences that set the stage for the development of narcissistic personality disorder. She clarifies that this condition is not a choice that people make for themselves. It is a condition that tends to run in families and can be at least partially genetic.

The book goes on to describe the difficulties of detaching from a narcissistic spouse who does not negotiate honestly. The author describes how these people try to manipulate the authorities, the courts and even the family of their ex-spouse to their advantage. Trying to negotiate with such a person is often a losing proposition.

Balancing and coordinating the time each spouse spends with the children can also be difficult and may require the help of lawyers and the courts to keep the arrangements under control. The author details a long list of possible co-parenting problems and suggests specific approaches to dealing with each one.

Also discussed are issues that indicate the desirability of therapy for children caught up in divorce and post-divorce struggles. The therapy is considered “essential to successful co-parenting” among other supports, but does not specify how the therapy might be helpful to parents.

The author addresses a wide variety of issues that may arise when dealing with co-parenting with a narcissist. It also provides specific recommendations for handling each of these issues. She addresses complex difficulties involving loved ones and how they can be manipulated by narcissistic ex-spouses.

She ends by insisting on the need to take care of yourself. She also emphasizes taking the time and making the effort to recover from the trauma of being married to a narcissistic spouse or being the ex-spouse of one, especially when children are involved. While these issues may all suggest the help of a therapist, the author does not specifically address how a therapist might help in this process. Yet she discusses a long list of actions an individual could pursue in the interest of recovery from this series of very difficult situations.

The author suggests that the best way to deal with these difficulties is to not get entangled in a relationship with a narcissist. I would totally agree with this conclusion. Still, narcissists can be very seductive and put on a fake face for a while. If you find yourself in this situation, this book might provide you with a useful roadmap through the narcissistic jungle.

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